Sexual Addiction:
How to Recognize It and Overcome It

It's estimated that 16 million Americans struggle with compulsive sexual behavior on a daily basis, according to NBC News. While this is stereotypically a "male" issue, in reality about one-third of sex addicts are women.

Also called hypersexuality, nymphomania or erotomania, sexual addiction is typically more about escaping from stress, depression, or loneliness, rather than the physical act itself. However, sexual intimacy provides instant gratification, and a temporary feeling of fulfillment, which can lead sex addicts to mistakenly believe that they need sex to feel good or even normal.

"Lust for an exciting experience is one of the major causes of all addictions, including sexual addiction," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training at Sedona Training Associates. "Most of us feel dead inside most of the time, and when we connect intimately with another person we're able to temporarily take our attention off this deep emotional pain."

Like most addictions, sexual addiction can lead to numerous consequences, some of them devastating. It can lead to:

• Depression, extreme stress, or anxiety
• Financial debt from purchasing pornography or sexual services
• Divorce or problems in your relationships
• An unwanted pregnancy
• A sexually transmitted disease
• Loss of focus at work
• Feelings of intense shame and guilt

How do You Know if You're Addicted to Sex?

Most adults do like sex, so how do you know if you've taken a normally healthy behavior to the extreme? Here are some common symptoms of sexual addiction:

• Excessive masturbation
• Frequently using pornographic materials or sexually explicit phone or Internet services
• Having multiple sexual partners, affairs and/or one-night stands
• Having sex with people you don’t know, or using prostitutes or escort services
• Exposing yourself in public or engaging in voyeurism
• Having unsafe sex
• Avoiding emotional involvement in sexual relationships
• Engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex

Sexual addiction can affect anyone; people who are married, parents, single, and otherwise leading happy lives. However, some people with sexual addictions may have been sexually, emotionally or physically abused as a child, which caused them to develop unhealthy feelings about sexual intimacy.

For others, the compulsion for sex may develop simply out of feelings of being unfulfilled, looking for love, or needing to feel good, even for just a moment.

"We are programmed to believe not only that sex brings happiness but also that sex is bad," Dwoskin says. "So we have the feeling that we really want it, but we shouldn't have it – which is classic lust."

And the scenario of wanting something we shouldn't have can make it all the more appealing.

"Any time we are told that we should not have something, we tend to want it more. Then, when we have sex it is such a strong desire for most of us that it temporarily quiets our mind. This reveals the inner happiness that we are, while at the same time creating confusion in all of us, thinking that happiness comes from making love," Dwoskin says.

In reality, sex is an enjoyable part of life, but it does not hold the key to your happiness.

How to Overcome a Sexual Addiction

If you find that you're thinking about sex compulsively, and perhaps acting on some of these thoughts, sex may have an unhealthy hold on your life. This is especially true if you feel shame or guilt, or fear that you are hurting yourself or a loved one because of your actions.

There is a simple but powerful tool, called The Sedona Method, that can naturally help you to regain control over this addiction.

The scientifically proven Sedona Method is a do-it-yourself system that will show you how to tap your natural ability to let go of any negative thought or feeling on the spot including the motivators for all forms of addiction. It can be used in your life to get immediate relief from the effects of addictive behaviors whenever you feel you are losing control.

For sexual addiction, you should focus on releasing your desire to have something you "can't have," and soon you will find that your compulsive sexual behavior fades away, and no longer has control of you. Rather, you will be the one in complete control, and you will feel at peace with your life.

"If you release the feeling of 'I want it but I can't or shouldn't have it' you can simply enjoy sex when you do have it, without having to overdue it in your life," Dwoskin says.

You may also find that you can channel your desires for sexual behavior into a healthy outlet, such as exercise. Meanwhile, although sexual addiction usually has nothing to do with your satisfaction in marriage (many happily married people have become addicted to sex), those of you who are in a relationship may benefit from rekindling the romance in your relationship, and experimenting with sexual intimacy in your own bedroom.

Sources
MayoClinic.com
MSNBC.com