'Not Pretty Enough' 
How to Get Over the Destructive Appearance Trap

In Americans' ever-increasing quest to be beautiful, there seems to be no limit to the lengths people will take to look 'perfect.' Cosmetic plastic surgery procedures increased 7 percent from 2005, to reach almost 11 million procedures in 2006. Among the most popular treatments in this category were breast augmentation, nose reshaping, liposuction, eyelid surgery and tummy tucks.

An even faster growing segment of the industry, minimally invasive cosmetic procedures, increased 8 percent since 2005. The most popular procedures in this grouping include Botox, chemical peels, laser hair removal, microdermabrasion and hyaluronic acid injections.

Of course, this kind of 'beauty' does not come cheap. American's spent $11.5 billion on cosmetic procedures in 2006, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

Why people will go to great lengths, enduring painful surgeries and coughing up large sums of money, to change their appearance has to do with a desire to be more attractive, or even just to look 'normal.'

"They [people who undergo cosmetic surgery] want to look normal – that is, they don't want to stand out in an obvious way or to have features which cause comment or make them feel self-conscious," says Susan Thorpe, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Surrey in Guildford, Surrey. "They also want their physical appearance to be more in line with their personalities and feel that they want all the bits of their bodies to match."

When Wanting to be Pretty Turns Into an Obsession

Sometimes, even plastic surgery is not enough to make a person feel beautiful. It's estimated that from 7 percent to 12 percent of plastic surgery patients have some form of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), which is characterized by a preoccupation with a certain aspect of your appearance.

People with BDD are so obsessed with a particular body part, such as large hips or a double chin, that it interferes with their daily life. Not surprisingly, people with BDD who have plastic surgery typically do not feel better about their appearance and often undergo multiple procedures for the same issue.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be attractive, the risk lies in intertwining your own self-worth with your outward appearance. If you feel that you must look perfect on the outside to be happy, successful or worthy of other's attention, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

'There is no real danger in getting caught up in appearance,' says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. 'However, when we live life on the surface we are seldom satisfied and we are always feeling incomplete and vulnerable.'

This is partly because, inevitably, your appearance will change with time, and you must learn to love yourself and your appearance, at every stage of your life.

'When we are over concerned with our appearance it is due to a basic insecurity about ourselves and our own self-worth,' Dwoskin points out.

How to Get Over Not Feeling Pretty Enough

Both women and men can easily become caught up in the appearance trap, feeling down, angry or irritable if they gain five pounds, notice a new wrinkle or lose a few hairs from their head.

Holding on to this type of negative body image will do nothing but make you miserable, and has even been linked to depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

To finally feel at peace with your appearance, it's necessary to let go of the negative feelings – the put-downs to yourself, the name-calling ('I'm so fat'), the criticism, and the blame – and replace them with feelings of complete acceptance and love for yourself.

A technique called The Sedona Method will show you how to tap your natural ability to release your self-sabotaging beliefs about your appearance, and let go of these unwanted feelings on the spot.

You will likely feel immediate relief, and over time you will find that once-difficult situations (like putting on a bathing suit or having your picture taken) are completely comfortable and even enjoyable.

'As we feel more confident about what is both inside and outside, we relax more about our appearance – yet we still take care of ourselves,' Dwoskin says.

So rather than struggling through each day feeling 'not pretty enough,' The Sedona Method will allow you to live each day feeling confident, self-assured and beautiful.

Source
American Soceity of Plastic Surgeons
American Psychological Association