How Chronically Avoiding Conflict
Leads to Greater Conflicts
by www.Sedona.com
Avoiding conflict can be a good thing within reason. Studies show, after all, that those who get along with their relatives, friends and neighbors are less likely to report health problems and physical limitations, and those who don’t have greater declines in their health.
Those who face frequent conflicts are also constantly triggering their body’s stress response, which drives up your blood pressure levels, potentially damaging your blood vessels, clogging your arteries and triggering a heart attack.
At the other end of the spectrum, though, there is also risk. If you chronically avoid conflict -- to the point that you’ll do just about anything to avoid it -- you are like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.
When is Conflict a Good Thing?
“It is best to avoid confrontation if you are simply trying to be right or prove your point -- or are wanting to incite conflict,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Confrontation is a good thing, however, when you are following your own integrity and knowingness.”
For instance, if your coworker constantly takes credit for your accomplishments, causing you tremendous upset and aggravation, confronting them is warranted. Likewise if you have witnessed something you feel is morally or ethically unacceptable.
If you avoid conflict in situations like this, you are not being true to yourself. And this leads to steady feelings of unrest, conflict, and frustration within your mind, and even deeper within your very core.
Aside from this inner turmoil, shunning confrontation at all costs means that touchy subjects are never dealt with in your relationships. While this may keep the peace for a little while, ultimately it leaves things unsaid, unexplored and unknown … which will only lead to greater conflicts down the road.
Of course, it’s not always obvious when it’s better to speak your mind and when it’s better to back off. This is where The Sedona Method can be invaluable.
A Simple Method to Clear up the Confusion
If you’re like most people, you mind is often a foggy mix of racing thoughts, covering everything from what to cook for dinner to the argument you had last week with your neighbor. With all of this going on, it can be tough to think clearly when we need to.
The Sedona Method helps by showing you how to release the unnecessary “mind chatter” that distracts you from your inner knowingness. As you release the background noise, your inner voice becomes clear, and it will always guide you down the right path.
“If you are not sure whether the decision to engage in conflict is coming from your own knowingness, then release until you are sure,” Dwoskin says. “It is best to express your feelings openly and honestly when you have built trust in a relationship and know that you are communicating from your heart … as opposed to trying to be right or simply make a point or start an argument.”
If you determine that a confrontation is necessary, releasing will also help the conversation go smoothly.
“I highly encourage you to release first so you can communicate appropriately. Often this means simply reacting instead of aggressively communicating,” says Dwoskin. “Remember, there is always more than one point of view. The more you can stretch into the other person’s shoes, the more you will avoid unnecessary conflict.” | 
