How the Sedona Method Helps You
in Challenging Financial Times
How Perfecting the Art of “Give and Take”
Will Help You Advance in Your Career
by http://www.sedona.com
In order to advance in your career, perfecting the art of proper negotiation is essential. Yet, contrary to popular belief, negotiating doesn’t usually mean getting everything you want.
In fact, negotiation is not about one person winning or coming out on top. It’s about cooperation, compromise and, by definition, consists of give and take and finding middle ground.
What this means is that a successful negotiation -- the type that will truly advance your career -- makes both parties feel like they’re getting a good deal. If you feel like you’ve “won,” look out, because that means the other guy probably feels like the loser. And when there is a losing side to a negotiation it creates adversity -- the last thing you want to have between you and your employer, customers or business partners.
“The more you are willing to give in addition to take in all your relationships the more successful and happy you will be,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Even adversarial situations are not win-lose unless you make them so. The more you make things about winning and losing, the more likely you are to lose or to foster a feeling of competition rather then cooperation.”
The ultimate goal of any negotiation -- from a new job offer to asking for a raise or to work on a high-stakes project -- is to foster a win-win feeling. And doing this means you’ll probably have to give a little.
Negotiating Tips for Career Advancement
These tips are not about winning, rather they’re about learning how to give and take.
- Resist the urge to be confrontational. Instead, focus on reaching a compromise.
- Let go of your desire to “win.” “The best way to support yourself in having win-win relationships is to release your wanting to win or dominate and your wanting to take from the other person,” Dwoskin says. “The more you let go of these feelings within yourself the less they will be reflected back to you from the person that you are dealing with.”
“This does not mean that you shouldn’t stand up for what is right for you or be fairly compensated,” he continues. “It simply means that as you let go you will find a balance and do what promotes what is best for all involved.”
- Show empathy. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes so you can understand their side of the situation. When you do, you’ll realize what they want or need, and be able to negotiate accordingly.
- Avoid arguing. If you sense the situation turning into an argument, take immediate action to redirect the conversation. To do this, let go of your negative feelings, and be sure you are not trying to prove the other person wrong or struggle for power.
- State your needs. Along with listening to the other person’s needs, you need to voice your own. Meanwhile, make sure you aren’t giving in too much.
“If you have a tendency to give too much you should use The Sedona Method to release on that,” Dwoskin says. “If you are giving at your own expense that will help no one and only cause more inner and outer conflict.”
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