Grudges:
How to Let Them Go
To Start the New Year Right
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” --English Poet Alexander Pope The New Year is a time for reflection, change and, sometimes, new beginnings. Perhaps right now you are reflecting on an argument, a disagreement or even a long-standing feud -- one for which you’re still holding a grudge and are having a hard time forgiving, but, ultimately would like to see resolved. First it’s worth noting that forgiveness is one of the toughest challenges that humans face. In fact, according to some experts, forgiving goes against human nature, largely because we equate it with forgoing justice. However, forgiving someone does not excuse or justify their behavior. It is, rather, a means to creating a more joyful, peaceful and healthy life for yourself. "In a way," says Dean Ornish, M.D., founder and president of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute and clinical professor of medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, "the most selfish thing you can do for yourself is to forgive other people." Major Health Benefits of Forgiveness When you hold on to grudges you are also holding on to a wide array of negative emotions: anger, bitterness, resentment, sadness, grief -- you name it. Not only are these emotions hard to live with, but they provide endless fodder for chronic stress, the bad type of stress that has been linked to everything from heart disease, cancer and depression to reproductive problems, back pain and fatigue. "It happens down the line, but every time you feel unforgiveness, you are more likely to develop a health problem," says Everett Worthington, executive director of A Campaign for Forgiveness Research. Mentally, grudges are also detrimental. The more grudges you hold, the more likely they are to interfere with your relationships. Hold on to too many grudges, and you’re likely to lose a few important relationships along the way, which could lead to a more socially isolated existence. You Want to Forgive … But How? Forgiveness is a choice, a mindset, a way of life; and you can decide to make forgiveness a part of your lifestyle. Once you choose to forgive, be sure, also, that you dedicate some time to forgiving yourself. "So many people have a constant, critical voice in their heads narrating their every move," says Sharon A. Hartman, LSW, a clinical trainer at the Caron Foundation, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Pennsylvania. "Forgiving doesn't mean not being angry with yourself, but not hating yourself … No one can beat us up better than we beat ourselves up." At the heart of true forgiveness is letting go of the negative emotions -- the grudges -- that exist about a particular issue. The scientifically proven Sedona Method is an incredibly effective and easy-to-learn program that will help you do just that. The Sedona Method will show you how to access your natural ability to let go of any negative thought or feeling, paving the way for natural positive thinking to flourish. It’s important to note that forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you will reconcile with him or her. It does not mean you condone their behavior, or that you no longer hold them accountable. What it does mean is that you no longer have to suffer over it. Rather than festering over a past grudge, you can easily use The Sedona Method to break the negative patterns of thought and behavior that once felt so deeply rooted. Instead, you will experience the freedom that comes with letting go of grudges and forgiving those you love (and even those you don’t). How do you know you’ve succeeded in forgiving? "You know you have done it when the memory gives you no more pain or anger," Hartman says. "It's as simple as that. You can say, 'I am free of this.'" Sources:
A Campaign for Forgiveness Research
MedicineNet.com
MSNBC.com Get Ready for a Breakthrough.
| 
