Feeling Guilt about Your Mother or Father for Any Reason? Here’s What to Know and Do
by www.Sedona.com
You should call more. Be there more often. Offer to lend a helping hand over the weekend. You could, actually, go on and on about the myriad of things you feel you should be doing more of for your mother or father. And perhaps there is some merit to your feelings, and you should strive to call or visit your mom or dad more often. But what you should absolutely not do, not under any circumstances, is feel guilty about it.
“Often we hold onto guilt because we feel like it will either force us to stay in more contact with our parents or let us off the hook because we at least feel guilty,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Guilt is an I owe you for punishment, and we never feel like we have been punished enough.”
Yet, most of us wear guilt like a merit badge. “I haven’t seen my mom in three months, and I feel so guilty,” you may say or think. You may torment yourself with these anxious feelings, and allow them to eat away at your happiness. It’s the least you can do, after all.
In reality, though, guilt helps no one. It won’t change the situation, and it won’t keep you from doing it again. It may, however, end up sabotaging your relationship with your parents even further.
“If you are feeling guilty you will often punish yourself by sabotaging both your relationship with your parents and even your own life because you feel like you are not doing the right thing with your parents,” Dwoskin says.
What can you do?
“Learn to let go of the guilt,” Dwoskin says. “The best approach is to see guilt as a feeling and simply let it go and/or let go of wanting to punish yourself for what you are doing or not doing.”
The Sedona Method will show you how to tap into your inner ability to release these negative feelings, allowing you to drop it like you would a pencil. And once you release your guilt, you’ll feel more free to give your parents attention in a positive way.
“Letting go will free you to have your own life and to be in contact with your parents in a more loving and appropriate way,” Dwoskin says.
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