Handling a Break Up:
What to Do When You
Can’t Even Think Straight
by www.Sedona.com
When a relationship ends, whether the break up was with a boyfriend or girlfriend or your spouse, the resulting emotions can feel overwhelming, to the point you can’t even think straight.
This is completely normal and to be expected, as handling a break up is very much like grieving for any loss in your life. You may even find yourself going through the five stages of grief:
- Disbelief
- Yearning
- Anger
- Depression
- Acceptance
In fact, part of what makes handling a break up easier is taking an appropriate length of time to grieve.
“Give yourself a little time to grieve appropriately and clean up your emotions about your past partner,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “If you simply rush into the next relationship without cleaning up the last one you're extremely likely to simply create the same problems again.”
No matter which stage you are at right now, you’re also likely struggling with finding yourself once again, and establishing a new routine, a new life on your own. This can actually be one of the most exhilarating and productive times in your life, but to transition from a place of anger and sadness to one of hope and optimism takes a bit of work and a lot of letting go.
This will get easier as time goes on, but if your relationship is newly ended you’re probably still holding on to the relationship’s emotional baggage -- the fights, the insults, the broken promises, even replaying the great times over and over in your head.
But a critical piece to ending any relationship is to allow yourself to release the feelings you have about your partner and about the relationship. By letting go you not only avoid a lot of the emotional turmoil, you also prevent yourself from making the same mistakes in your next relationship.
So how do you take emotions that feel all-consuming and so very intense, and just let them go?
“There are several things that help in managing your emotions if you're dealing with a breakup,” Dwoskin says. “One is to set up a clear goal and intent for what you'd like in your next relationship and when you're ready to start taking action. The other thing that really helps is to remember that for most of us there are numerous right persons to be with, and you only need to find one right now. So it is actually great to end a relationship that isn't working so you can move on to one that does.”
At every stage of your breakup -- during, after and when you’re ready to get back in the dating scene -- The Sedona Method can help you to let go of your past relationship so you can easily move forward. It consists of a series of questions you ask yourself that lead your awareness to what you are feeling in the moment and gently guide you into the experience of letting go. Hundreds of thousands of people have already used the Method successfully to:
- Experience dramatic shifts in self-esteem and self-confidence that will ignite passionate romances
- Enjoy deep feelings of inner peace that bring more joy and happiness to everyday life
- Experience freedom from long-standing emotional challenges
- Effortlessly find the courage to take massive action toward being, doing and having the most exciting things life has to offer
So be very generous in letting go of the negative feelings associated with your past relationship, and focus on the positive instead. Now you can move forward with your own life, without any of the lingering relationship problems holding you back … and when you feel ready, you are now open and free to have a relationship that is truly right for you. | 
