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The holidays are here again, and many Americans are getting ready to spread their seasonal cheer. Yet for some -- estimates say up to one-third of Americans -- the holidays are not joyous, but rather are a time filled with unrealistic expectations, overwhelming pressures and sadness.
The resulting “holiday blues” can make you feel stressed out, anxious, lonely, tense and generally “blue.” What causes the holiday blues?
- An overload of stress. There’s too much shopping to be done, too many holiday parties to attend, and who’s going to clean your house before the company arrives?
- Spending time with family. “Even the most mature of us becomes more of a child emotionally when we spend time around our family,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “This often brings with it mild to extreme discomfort.”
- Being alone. During the holidays, you probably think you should be with friends and family. If you’re not, you feel that you have done something wrong. Feelings of loneliness are also magnified around the holidays when you believe you should instead be having a “perfect” holiday.
“Another great cause of holiday blues is that we think we are supposed to feel good around the holidays, which is totally artificial,” Dwoskin says. “Because of this unfair expectation, we judge ourselves more harshly if we are not feeling jovial during the holiday season.”
- Unrealistic expectations. When the holidays near, suddenly you feel you must become a gourmet chef, a baker, a decorator, and a millionaire (to afford all those perfect gifts). You also believe that your holiday should be free of arguments, stress, and mishaps of any kind, or else you hold yourself to blame.
How can you determine if your sadness is the holiday blues, or a more serious depressive illness, which impact about 19 million Americans every year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health?
The holiday blues are temporary and should clear up when the stress of the holidays subsides. Keep in mind, though, that a significant number of people also suffer from post-holiday blues, which is a sadness that occurs from holiday let-down.
Signs that you may be suffering from clinical depression, and not just the holiday blues, include:
- Persistent sadness
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Loss of interest in your hobbies
- Fatigue
- Insomnia or oversleeping
- Difficulty making decisions and concentrating
- Irritability
- Appetite changes and weight gain or loss
- Headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain that do not clear up
How to Avoid the Holiday Blues
It is possible to be happy this holiday season, regardless of your circumstances or expectations, if you follow these seven tips.
- Learn the Sedona Method. “The Sedona Method dissolves holiday blues in many ways,” Dwoskin says. It works by teaching you how to let go of negative emotions that tend to flare up at this time of year. When you know how to release these bad feelings, you become free to feel however you please.
- Let go of wanting your family to approve of you. “Be open to the possibility that you are fine exactly as you are, no matter what comes up inside of you -- or what may be reflected back to you -- when you are with your family,” Dwoskin says.
- Delegate, delegate, delegate. Under no circumstances should you take on all the holiday tasks. Get your spouse to do the shopping, your kids to write the holiday cards, and your parents to watch the kids so you can take a night off.
- Release your holiday “shoulds.” “I should be happy.” “I should be with my family.” “I should be cooking a homemade meal instead of getting catering.” “If you find yourself alone, not as happy as you "should" be this holiday season, or otherwise not doing something you “should” be, know that it is not in any way a reflection of your own value as a person,” Dwoskin points out. “Also, allow yourself to love yourself as you are as best you can.”
- Let go of your past. Wishing you could go back to that perfect holiday when you were 5 will not make you feel better. In fact, it will bring up, and keep in your mind, all of the things that are not right this year. Instead, use The Sedona Method to let go of wanting to go back to the past, and instead look forward to the future. Creating a new holiday tradition is a great way to start this process.
- Keep up with your healthy lifestyle. Even as things get hectic, make sure you sleep enough, eat good food (not fast food), stick to your exercise schedule, don’t overindulge on alcohol, and take time to relax. All of these things will help you to cope with holiday stress. But, if you do slip-up and overeat at your sister’s holiday party AND skip your aerobics class, don’t judge yourself. Just use The Sedona Method to let go of any feelings of guilt, then move on.
- Expect things to not be perfect. That long-time dispute you’ve had with your uncle probably won’t go away just because it’s time for your holiday dinner. Meanwhile, ornaments will break, turkeys will burn, and someone will probably end up having to work late. If you go in to the holidays expecting reality (that things will not be perfect), you’ll be a lot happier with the way things do turn out.
Finally, remember to use The Sedona Method http://www.sedona.com/html/what-is-the-sedona-method.aspx regularly and often to release all of your holiday stresses, and keep it up after the holidays are over to stop any post-holiday blues as well. |
