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How the Sedona Method Helps You in Challenging Financial Times
How to Spend Less on Holiday Shopping by Managing Your Emotions
by www.Sedona.com

Typically, the holidays generate over one-fourth of annual U.S. retail sales, and in 2007, U.S. consumers spent an estimated $817 each on holiday shopping. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing, necessarily, except that often we spend much more than we really should.

Blame it on those adorable window scenes at the department stores, the train set you never got as a child (and therefore HAD to buy for your child), or a bit too much rum in your eggnog, the end result is the same: Americans go over their holiday spending budgets by an average of 15 percent to 30 percent, according to the International Mass Retail Association.

As a result, one survey found that one-third of consumers were still paying off their holiday debt from 2006 last year in 2007. No doubt this year many people are also still carrying debt from a 2007 holiday shopping spree.

It’s an ugly cycle, really, especially for a season that’s supposed to be about warmth, giving, sharing, being with loved ones -- really anything but spending money.

To some extent, you could blame your holiday spending on society in general. People are paid hefty amounts to figure out exactly how to get you to part with more of your money, and if that means making you feel insignificant if your family does not buy the latest “hot” toys or brand-name labels, or because you don’t have a home filled with expensive greenery and snowmen-themed dinner plates, so be it.

Indeed, stepping into any department store during the months of November or December is a bold and daring endeavor for anyone who wants to spend less on holiday shopping. But it’s not fair to put ALL of the blame on the advertisers, as a large part of it also belongs with your emotions. (And that’s exactly why advertisers try so hard to appeal to those very emotions as well.)

“Your emotions color how you spend money all the time, however it is often most pronounced during the holidays for several reasons,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Most of us put very unrealistic expectations around the happiness and good cheer that we can experience and share with others around the holidays. We forget that the opposite is often true. We use the holidays as an excuse for excess in order to overcome any holdbacks we have been putting up with throughout the year and simply as a way to cut loose.”

To put it simply, most of us work hard all year and come the holiday season we’re ready for some good cheer. Well, for many of us that “cheer” involves spending money.

“This can be especially conflicting during times of economic tightness,” Dwoskin says. “We also often try and make up for any ill will that has developed between those we associate with or care about from the previous year by buying them things. We forget that this rarely, if ever, works. Still, all of this causes much emotion that we try and compensate for by buying more than we should -- to either control how others feel or to get them to like us.”

Getting a Handle on Emotional Spending, Even During the Holidays

As Dwoskin pointed out, your emotions often influence your spending … but during the holiday season these feelings are intensified. Have you ever:

• Splurged on an expensive gift to make someone like you, or to make up for something you did wrong over the year?
  
• Bought more gifts than you felt comfortable with because you didn’t want to be labeled a “Scrooge”?
  
• Bought holiday-related items in an attempt to cheer up your holidays or your home?
  
• Spent more than you should on holiday gifts for your kids in order to keep up with the latest trends in clothes or video games?

If so, your emotions are dictating your spending.

This isn’t only a problem from a financial perspective, it’s dangerous from a deeper one: your happiness. Buying things will never give you the ideal holiday you’re imagining. In fact, the more you place significance on making your holidays look like the pictures in magazines or in movies -- and the more you focus on what your holidays are lacking (not enough gifts, decorations, elaborate meals or even people), the more you will feel that your holiday season is not fulfilling.

Notice again that this has nothing to do with spending anything.

Still, the idea that the holidays will be better if we spend a lot of money is deeply engrained in many of us. In order to finally spend less on holiday shopping -- without feeling that you are sacrificing anything -- you must first let go of your emotions, which you can do using The Sedona Method.

“The best way to enjoy the holidays more and curb inappropriate spending without feeling like Scrooge is to simply allow yourself to release whatever emotions are pulling you toward excess,” Dwoskin says.

Remember, based on our examples above, this could include emotions like:

• Fear of being a Scrooge
  
• Need for approval (causing you to buy expensive trendy toys and clothes)
  
• Loneliness or sadness (and spending as a way to cheer yourself up)
  
• Guilt or regret (and buying gifts to make others forgive you)
  
• Lust (and feeling you need to spend in excess to have a happy holiday)

“It is important to pay special attention to any feelings of wanting to control another’s experience or wanting them to love you,” Dwoskin adds.

As you become adept at releasing, you will be able to decide, with a clear head, what purchases to make and which ones to pass up. As your emotional mind-chatter quiets, you will also be able to identify the gifts that will truly make you and your family happy, as well as reconnect with the true spirit of the holiday season (the one that does not involve shopping malls). The Sedona Method is, in fact, one such excellent gift for your friends and family who also have a habit of over-spending, because it will give them emotional freedom as well.

In short, we buy things, especially during the holidays, because we think they’ll make us happy. When you let go, you realize that this is not true, and you can be happy without spending a dime.

“By letting go you can have a great holiday without breaking the bank,” Dwoskin says.

Sources