How to End an Affair –
and Why Right Now is the Best Time
by www.Sedona.com
Bill Clinton did it. So did John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer -- and these are just the few who made it to the front-page news. Given the personal and secretive nature of affairs, actual statistics are hard to come by, but one University of California study estimated that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women have had extramarital affairs.
A few years back an ABC News “Primetime Live” survey found similar results; 16 percent of those surveyed had cheated on their partner. Yet, a full 30 percent of married or committed couples have fantasized about doing so, which suggests that one in three of us have at least considered being unfaithful at some point in our lives.
Countless others may have since gotten in over their heads, and are wondering how to end an affair right now.
Common Reasons for Affairs
The reasons we cheat are more complex than you may think, and the motivations can vary drastically from one person to the next.
“The conscious reasons for having an affair may vary from boredom or familiarity all the way to vengeance and jealousy,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “However, the true cause of having an affair is your own sense of incompletion or feelings of not being enough inside. When you feel like you are not enough and of course your partner isn't enough either, you feel like you need to fill yourself up with an affair.”
Common reasons that contribute to a sense of incompletion or not having enough with your current relationship include:
- Emotional needs not being met
- Physical needs not being met
- Constant conflict within the relationship (due to any number of causes including finances, different values, children, in-laws, career, etc.)
- An unfulfilled need or desire for excitement and attention
- Feeling entitled to more than one partner, perhaps to enhance self-esteem
People may also cheat as a way to get out of a relationship, actually hoping they’ll got caught and not have to initiate the ending themselves. Others may want out of their current relationship, and have an affair as a way to find a new mate before letting go of their former one.
How to End an Affair
An affair does not have to be the end for your current relationship. In fact, infidelity can force you to deal with problems that have been silently brewing for some time, causing you to communicate on a deeper level and ultimately make the relationship stronger.
But that can’t happen until you end the affair.
Living in limbo is not only a surefire way to further devastate your current relationship, but also to destroy your own mental well-being. This is why -- if you want to save your current relationship -- NOW is the best time to end the affair … not tomorrow, not next week, and not anytime later, but right now … really, the sooner you do it the better.
“The best way to end an affair is to release both the conscious and subconscious feelings that are motivating you to look for your happiness where it isn't,” Dwoskin says. “When you simply welcome the feelings you have about the affair and about your partner, and let them go, you'll find that you'll naturally do the right thing for everyone.”
The “secret” to doing this is tapping into your natural powers of letting go using The Sedona Method.
The Method will show you how to release simply and in the moment, so that you’ll be able to feel at peace with your current state. It’s necessary to not just suppress these inner feelings of inadequacy and lack, but to let them go. Only then will you clearly see the joy in your relationship again, along with feeling completely fulfilled and at peace with it.
Finally, once the affair has ended and you’ve recommitted yourself to making your current relationship work, devote some time to rekindling the romance and enjoying every moment together.
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