The Importance of Deep Social Connections
(and How to Make Lasting Friendships)
by www.Sedona.com
Between cell phones, texting, instant messages and e-mail, Americans are more connected than ever before. Yet, ironically, loneliness is rampant in the Western world.
As superficial communications have increased, it seems the more important variety -- deep connections -- have largely diminished.
In a survey conducted at the University of Chicago, people had on average just two people with whom they could discuss important personal matters. And almost half of those surveyed could name only one or no people in whom they could confide.
Meanwhile, four out of five people surveyed said they only talk to family members about important personal matters, compared with 57 percent in 1985. The percentage of people who only confide in their spouse also increased, from 5 percent in 1985 to 9 percent in 2004.
The problem, of course, is what happens if you lose those one or two people. Suddenly you are on your own and subject to social isolation. The trend toward living alone is also on the rise in the United States, where 25 percent of U.S. households consist of just one person, compared to 10 percent in 1950.
These data suggest that American’s social “safety nets” are diminishing, and come hard times they may have no one to turn to for support. Many are also missing out on the joys that a deep social connection or a lasting friendship can provide. Further, they’re being exposed to some very real health risks.
Being Lonely is Bad for Your Health
Lonelines is not just an emotional state, but also a physical state that increases your risk of heart disease and depression.
``As a risk factor for premature death, social isolation is as big an independent risk factor for death as smoking," Robert Putnam, a professor of public policy at Harvard University, told The Boston Globe.
One study of 37,000 people, conducted by James House, PhD, a University of Michigan sociologist, even found that people who lived alone or had few friends were twice as likely to die over 10 years as people with more friends and family. And according to Ohio State University researchers, having close friends helps keep your immune system strong during times of stress.
Further, a study in the September 2007 issue of the journal Genome Biology found that loneliness impacts gene expression. Among people who were chronically lonely, changes in their genes resulted in inflammation and depressed response to infection.
How to Make Lasting Friendships
Loneliness is not something that happens just to those who are physically alone. It’s quite possible to be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
“Most of us, even when we are with people, live with a profound sense of isolation and even loneliness,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “This is due to our misperception that we are separate from those around us. This sense of isolation and loneliness causes us to either withdraw or feel so needy that we sabotage our relationships.”
This is why The Sedona Method is your first step toward achieving deep social connections. Not only does it allow you to get in touch with your inner being, and the fact that you are connected to everything around you, but it shows you how to let go of the self-doubt and other inhibitions that are keeping you from reaching out to those around you.
“The best thing you can do to break the pattern of loneliness is to release or let go of your desire to isolate and also your need to connect,” Dwoskin says. “Once these feelings are released you'll find it much easier to make and keep long-term friends.”
“You can also allow yourself to challenge your assumption that you are alone and separate in a hostile world,” he continues. “And the best way to do this is to discover your true nature, which is already here now.”
Sources
Discover Magazine January 15, 2008
Genome Biology 2007, 8:R189
MSNBC.com August 6, 2006
The New York Times July 2, 2006
Boston.com June 23, 2006 | 
