How to Boost Your
Self-Esteem in Seven Steps
by www.Sedona.com When your self-esteem is not where it should be, it can feel like you’re walking through life with your hands tied behind your back. On occasions where you want to let loose, you refrain. When it comes time to be in the limelight, you downplay your accomplishments. And when opportunities present themselves, you may doubt your very merit as an individual. People who lack self-esteem will often skirt risks (lest they expose themselves to potential failure) and may have trouble taking responsibility when things do go wrong. Meanwhile, according to the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE), there is a connection between low self-esteem and a number of negative behaviors, including: • Violence
• Alcoholism and drug abuse
• Eating disorders
• Dropping out of school and teenage pregnancy
• Suicide
• Low academic achievement Further, a study by American and Canadian psychologists found that people with low self-esteem are less likely to want to improve a negative mood, even when an activity that could make them feel better presents itself. "Many people with low self-esteem believe sadness is part of life and that you shouldn't try to get rid of it, while people with high self-esteem believe in doing something to feel better if they have a negative experience or get in a bad mood," said Jonathon Brown, a University of Washington psychologist who co-authored the study. How can you tell if you have low self-esteem? NASE has compiled 10 signs that could indicate your confidence and self-image are low: • You tend to analyze yourself often.
• You fear adversity and may be alienated from parents/authority figures in your life.
• You rarely smile and tend to have a negative outlook.
• You feel tired often and rarely set goals for yourself.
• You’d rather be alone than meet new people.
• You have a hard time making friends.
• You don’t make eye contact with others, and have trouble with trust, intimacy and affection.
• You don’t take risks.
• You create negative effects and may be needy, clingy or even may fake affection.
• You engage in negative self-talk and don’t forgive yourself or others. How to Boost Your Self-Esteem Self-esteem is not only important in the long run. It’s necessary to be able to boost your confidence whenever you feel it starting to fade. The good news is that self-esteem can be developed in you just as you can learn how to ride a bike – and once you have it it’ll be there for good. The first step is to stop looking for approval from the outside world, and look inside yourself for the good feelings. “Remember that esteem comes from within – not from any other person or external accomplishment. You can give yourself the permission to feel good about yourself any time you choose,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. Giving yourself the “permission to feel good” is as simple as letting go of the negative feelings you have about yourself. The Sedona Method is a do-it-yourself tool that can show you how to tap into your natural ability to beat low self-esteem, and also helps you to easily break the patterns of thought and behavior that cause low self-esteem to persist. “The best way to boost your self-esteem is to release whatever you are carrying inside that is telling you that you are not good enough or that you have low self-esteem,” Dwoskin says. “When you let the feeling of low self-esteem go, you’re left with the natural high self-esteem that is always right within you.” Giving your self-esteem a boost, and keeping it boosted for good, is well within your reach. Here are the steps you need to get you there: 1. Let go of negative, doubtful and fearful feelings with The Sedona Method. 2. Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well and tend to your appearance. When you feel good from a physical and aesthetic perspective, you’ll have a much easier time feeling good from a mental perspective as well. 3. Respect others. Be truthful, fair and open-minded to those around you. 4. Be positive. Smile often, give compliments to yourself and others, and stop thinking negatively about yourself. 5. Learn to forgive and forget. This includes forgiving yourself and learning how to take responsibility. 6. Give thanks. Show gratitude for your life and the people in it. 7. Go after your goals. Figure out what it is that makes you happy in life, and make it a point to spend lots of time doing it.
Sources
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2002 Jan Vol 82(1) 128-147
National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE)
ScienceDaily.com
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