How to Help Your Child if He or She is a Victim of Bullying
by www.Sedona.com
At least 10 percent of school-aged children are bullied on a regular basis, and up to half of children are bullied at one point or another, according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP).
Bullying, which includes not only physical threats but also verbal abuse including name-calling, teasing and spreading rumors, is now so widespread that a study of two schools by UCLA researchers found that 47 percent of sixth graders in one school and 46 percent in the other said they'd been bullied at least once during a five-day period.
Some kids have even reported being bullied via e-mail or in online chat rooms!
Whether physical or verbal (not surprisingly, boys tend to use more physical bullying while girls tend to use verbal bullying) the results are the same. Victims of bullying may:
-
Become socially isolated
-
Face problems with emotional development
-
Often feel sad or complain about being sick
-
-
Become depressed
-
Have difficulties with romantic relationships as an adult
-
Threaten violence to himself or others
-
Attempt to commit suicide
You may also notice changes in your child as a result of bullying that include:
" Frequent crying or talk of running away or suicide
" Changes in sleeping habits or appetite
" Excuses to stay home from school
" Attempts to bring "protection" to school (stick, knife, etc.)
" Bringing home damaged possessions, or "losing" possessions often
Feeling constantly humiliated, disliked or anxious while going through your school years can cause lifelong problems, and many adults who were victims of bullying as children are still trying to cope with the emotional damage.
How to Help a Victim of Bullying
If your child is being bullied, first realize just how trying it can be for him or her. The more abuse your child experiences, the worse he will feel, and the more he will try to avoid going to school. Of course, the more he avoids school, the more his social ties and grades will begin to break down, and the more emotionally tired he will feel.
That said, it helps to realize that the child doing the bullying is likely also unhappy. Bullies "have often been the victims of physical abuse or bullying themselves," according to AACAP, and they may be facing issues with depression or anger because of events at school or at home.
Along with the victims of bullying, bullies are at an increased risk of depression, suicide, lowered school performance, and physical problems like stomachaches and colds.
"You should let your child know that the bully is bullying not because he is genuinely stronger than the other children, but because the bully is insecure or has been bullied himself," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.
Next, ask your child what he thinks should be done about the bullying. Does he want to talk to a teacher or guidance counselor at school? Does he want to try ignoring the bully?
"Let him know that you are behind him however he decides to respond to the situation," Dwoskin says. "Children also need to know that they do not need to allow other kids to take advantage of them."
Help Your Child to Avoid Being a Victim
Studies show that victims of bullying tend to exhibit certain characteristics, according to AACAP, namely:
While you, of course, can't change your child's size or age, you can directly influence their levels of passiveness and intimidation by instilling confidence in him or her.
This includes not only teaching your child to speak up for himself and seek out strong social ties, but also to let go of negative feelings he may have about himself.
The Sedona Method can take your child, and you, on a step-by-step journey to eliminating all kinds of negative self-talk, insecurity and anxiety so that his (and your) inner confidence can shine through. This is the ultimate deterrent against bullies; a bully cannot victimize someone whose inner strength is apparent!
Finally, take the time to identify your own feelings of anger or fear that may have arisen as a result of your child's hardship.
"Last and most important," Dwoskin points out, "use The Sedona Method to release whatever feelings your child's hardship brings up in YOU, so that you can be there fully for him."
Sources
Child Development. 2005 Mar-Apr;76(2):435-50
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
National Mental Health Information Center
| 
