How to Work With Difficult People:
Three Tips to Make it Much Easier
by www.Sedona.com Most of us do not have the luxury of hand-picking who we work with. And in most work environments, this means that there’s at least one bad apple in the bunch. Most of us also don’t have the luxury of changing our workday around to avoid said bad apple, which means that we are forced to interact with someone we’d really rather not, for a significant portion of our lives. This does not have to be as bad as it sounds, though. While you won’t be able to change the difficult person into someone you adore, you have the complete ability to change your reaction to the person and the situation, and that makes all the difference. “Remember, if you work with someone difficult, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Also remember that this is just a job…you always have the choice about how you react to your colleagues and whether or not you stay,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. Working with Difficult People Just Got Easier Today’s the day to step up and address the person that’s making you unhappy at work. Believe it or not, though, the most effective tips have nothing at all to do with them, and everything to do with you. 1. Let go of your reactions. Maybe the difficult person at work belittles your contributions. Perhaps he spreads rumors or doesn’t contribute his fair share. The problem really doesn’t matter. What is important is your reaction to the problem -- and, more so, your ability to let it go. “By letting go you take charge of how you feel, and I have seen three common things happen when people “let go” on difficult people,” Dwoskin says. Before we discuss the three things, it’s worth mentioning The Sedona Method, which is a unique and incredibly effective tool that you can use to tap into your inner ability to release and let go of negative emotions (like your reactions to the difficult colleague). The Method is easy, scientifically proven and fast, so you have everything to gain from giving it a try. When you do learn to let go of your reactions, Dwoskin says, the three following things happen: • You feel better and can often get to the point where you are no longer bothered by the difficult person.
• The difficult person often changes for the better because they are no longer getting a reaction. It takes two to tango.
• The difficult person may even get transferred out of the department or quit once you let go completely. “If you let go you feel better and can make what seemed like an intolerable situation much more tolerable or even enjoyable,” Dwoskin says. 2. Focus on the good things. It’s easy to focus on the things we don’t like about our jobs, but how about giving some attention to the good things? When you’re feeling frustrated, that’s the time to make a gratitude list of things you’re thankful for about your job (and when you get home, expand the list to other aspects of your life that you’re grateful for). 3. Take matters into your own hands. Part of what makes working with a difficult person, well, difficult, is the helplessness that it can evoke. You may even feel trapped into working with this person. You can rid yourself of the feeling of helplessness by first releasing it with The Sedona Method, then taking control of things. For instance, bypass working with the person, if possible, and go directly to your boss with ideas and suggestions. Let the person’s annoying behaviors slide off of you like drops of water, and immerse yourself in happy, intriguing and productive thoughts instead. And, finally, remember that you have control over whether you stay in your current job or not. There’s always the option of finding a new job, if that’s what you decide is best for you.
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