So You Got Dumped?
Here’s What to Do so You Don’t Feel Like You’re in the Dumps
by www.Sedona.com
Getting dumped can feel like your life is over. Your hopes for the future have been lost, your self-worth comes into question and you have lost a partner you once cared deeply about.
Working through a breakup, whether after three months or three years, is similar to grieving for any loss in your life; it takes time, careful attention to your needs and lots of support.
Being dumped brings up a unique set of even more hurdles to cross because, along with dealing with the loss, you are wondering why you weren’t “good enough” for your partner.
As you move through the stages of a breakup, here are the keys to moving on and up with your life – and remember, you are not alone; almost everyone has gotten dumped at some time in their life.
1. Wanting Your Ex Back
Immediately after a breakup you will likely be feeling mentally and physically horrible. You may entertain the notion of calling your ex because having them back seems like the only way to make yourself feel better.
You may also be having fears of being alone, or wondering if you’ll ever find anyone else. You will, of course, but during this time it can feel impossible.
Now’s the time to begin to come to terms with the notion that your ex was not “the one” for you.
“Remember that no matter how great the relationship appeared, it is now over. If this person was the right one for you, they would not have dumped you,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.
2. Accepting What Happened
Accepting the fact that your ex is no longer a part of your life will take time. During this period, pamper yourself with care:
• Take naps when you need them
• If you feel like crying, cry
• Exercise to let go of steam (kick-boxing) and relax (yoga)
• Eat well
• Do things you enjoy, including going out with friends
Next, take baby steps to reformulate your ideas about the future, and stop holding on to the past. You may want to dispose of items that remind you of your ex, get a new haircut, redecorate your home or have a night out with friends to symbolize your newfound “singleness.”
All the while, it will help immensely if you learn to release the negative feelings that keep popping into your mind. There’s no reason to torment yourself with feelings of “what if,” “if only,” “what’s wrong with me,” or overall sadness.
The Sedona Method is the ideal tool to help you do this, because it shows you how to easily let go of negative feelings and gain a positive mental outlook, even in the midst of a breakup.
The Method will also help you to not judge yourself or your feelings. Instead, you will be able to welcome any feeling that arises; then just as easily let it pass through you.
“Notice that feelings, good or bad, always pass, so rather then resisting or avoiding them simply welcome them and let them go as best you can,” Dwoskin says.
As you progress further through accepting what happened, you will begin to open yourself to the possibilities of the future, including meeting someone new.
“Let go of wanting to hold on to what was and be open to someone better who is truly right for you coming into your experience,” says Dwoskin.
3. Moving On
After accepting that you’ve been dumped, and effectively letting go of your negative feelings about the situation or yourself, you will be able to move forward with your life.
You should immerse yourself in activities you’ve always wanted to try, surround yourself with positive people and open your mind to upcoming possibilities.
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