Dealing with Guilt:
Three Steps to Finally Stop Feeling Guilty
by www.Sedona.com
Americans are no strangers to guilt -- that nasty feeling that can bring up emotions such as remorse, shame and self-loathing, and that can steadily eat away at you for years or even a lifetime.
What do people feel guilty about? Anything and everything, including taking vacations, spending with credit cards, being a “working mom,” failed relationships, eating dessert, that fight with your college roommate 20 years ago, and on, and on, and on.
It is quite easy, actually, to feel guilty about things if you allow it. It is not always easy, on the other hand, to deal with the guilt and ultimately stop feeling guilty altogether. Of course, the latter option is always more desirable.
Why We Hold on to Guilt
Guilt is often used as a “merit badge” of sorts. You’ve done something wrong, made a mistake or perhaps just done something you’re not proud of, and now you deserve to be punished! How will you punish yourself? By feeling guilty, of course, and the longer you torment yourself with guilt, the better the person you will be. Or so the theory goes.
So, we hold on to guilt, and to the notion that we must continue to punish ourselves for our past wrongdoings, and in our minds this proves that we’re sorry, and that we’re good people.
The problem is that most of us are entirely too hard on ourselves and will continue to feel guilty indefinitely, rather than allowing ourselves to be forgiven. Meanwhile, feeling guilty does absolutely nothing to right a wrong or to change past events. It only serves to make you feel miserable.
“Guilt is an "I owe you” for punishment, and you never feel like you have been punished enough. This punishment will not change what happened nor will it stop you from doing it again,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.
How to Stop Feeling Guilty
Guilt is a feeling that helps no one, yet people have a very hard time letting it go. Please realize that no longer feeling guilty does not mean you don’t care, only that you are allowing yourself to move on. If you are feeling guilty about something right now, here are the top tips to help you deal with the guilt and move on today.
1. Let go of the negative feelings with The Sedona Method
As Dwoskin said, most people feel like they have never been punished enough for their wrongdoings. The Sedona Method will show you how to tap into your inner ability to release this negative feeling, allowing you to drop it like you would a tennis ball. It really is that simple once you learn the power of letting go.
“The best approach is to decide you have been punished enough and let go of wanting to punish yourself,” Dwoskin says.
When you do, your feelings of guilt will be replaced with feelings of peace, contentment and self-worth.
2. Forgive yourself
Being able to forgive is a key factor to your health and happiness, and this includes forgiving yourself. If you are having trouble forgiving yourself, The Sedona Method can help you to release the thoughts and behavior patterns that are standing in your way.
3. Do things to make yourself feel good
When we feel guilty, we often decide that we don’t “deserve” to be happy or to do things that we enjoy. Part of no longer feeling guilty is allowing yourself to do things that make you feel good, whether that be exercising, going to see a musical or taking a weekend to go fishing.
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