Key Recovery & Growth Insights
for Adults Abused as Children
by www.Sedona.com There are millions of adult survivors of child abuse in America, many who are still trying to overcome their troubled pasts. For some, the realization that they were abused may not even come until they are fully-grown, while others know but are still in denial. Meanwhile, adults who were abused as children often find themselves left with many unresolved feelings, including: • Shame and guilt
• Low self-esteem and self-doubt
• Anger and rage
• An inability to trust others
• Depression and isolation Aside from struggling with relationships due to issues of mistrust, adult survivors of child abuse may choose partners who are potentially dangerous or unhealthy, and are also at risk of continuing the abusive cycle, particularly if they’re unable to find some type of relief from their past. May circumstances can trigger bad memories of abuse even into adulthood. Something as simple as watching a movie or going to a party may remind you of the abuse and leave you angry, scared, or fearful. You may also feel guilty, as if you did something wrong to cause the abuse, and be living in a constant state of self-punishment. “One of places that we get stuck if we have experienced abuse as a child is that we are punishing ourselves for what someone else did,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “As young children it does not feel safe to believe that others could do the things that they are doing to us for no reason. Because of this it feels safer to blame ourselves, which generates a feeling of guilt.” How to Move on and up in Life after Child Abuse Adult survivors of abuse do not need to let their pasts rule their future, and there are a few key ways to begin your journey toward healing: • Stop punishing yourself. Letting go of the blame and guilt that you feel because of your past is a first step in the healing process. The Sedona Method is a simple technique that will show you how to release any unwanted feeling, including the pain of your past abuse. “As adults we can let go of wanting to punish ourselves for what others did and let go of the feeling of guilt that we have for what they did. This breaks our attachment to reliving the abuse so we can move on with our lives,” Dwoskin says. • Talk about it. Keeping your past trauma inside will eat away at you over time. Find a support group or a trusted friend and talk about your past and the way it makes you feel now. • Forgive. Forgiving your abuser does not mean you are justifying their behavior or saying it was OK in any way. What it does do is allow you to stop holding on to the negative emotions – bitterness, resentment, rage, fear and more – that the abuser passed to you. When you forgive, you are releasing the hurt that you feel so you can focus on something more important: your happiness.
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