“Trying to be Perfect is Killing Me!”
The Key Steps to Overcoming Perfectionism
by www.Sedona.com
Striving to be your best is an admirable, even necessary, quality. But when a desire to do well turns into a compulsion to be perfect, it can lead to feelings of inferiority and unrealistic expectations of yourself. In time, pushing yourself to do everything “perfectly” can lead to increased stress, unnecessary worries and a constant yearning for satisfaction (that you will likely never reach).
What are some of the problems that perfectionists encounter? A constant feeling that they are letting someone, including themselves, down, because, after all, nothing is ever perfect. “When you wait for perfection to appear before you feel satisfied and complete you wait forever,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “There is always something that can be done to improve what is.” Meanwhile, perfectionists can run into the following self-limiting beliefs: • It’s not OK to make a mistake
• People will not like me if I’m not perfect
• I’ll avoid anything I can’t do well
• I’m a failure because I didn’t achieve a goal
• I must keep everything in my life under rigid control
• I’m depressed because something didn’t come out right
• Anyone who criticizes me is stupid At its most extreme, people who are perfectionists can actually become paralyzed by their compulsive desire to be perfect. This, in turn, can lead to stress-related illness, low self-esteem, relationship problems, decreased productivity and even suicidal thoughts. The Four Keys to Overcoming Perfectionism The following tips will help you turn an obsession with being perfect into a healthy desire to achieve. 1. Let go of the need to be perfect. You can let go of this self-sabotaging feeling just like you can let go of a pencil once you learn The Sedona Method – a tool to release negative emotions that are holding you back from true happiness. “If you let go of the feeling of compulsion to get things perfect, you can enjoy what you do as you do it. You will also discover that the job actually gets done better – and with less stress – if you let go of the compulsion to get it right,” Dwoskin says. 2. Learn to embrace your failures. When it comes to being truly successful, few people ever get there without first having failed. 3. Welcome criticism. Perfectionists get very defensive if they are criticized, without ever learning the valuable lessons that an honest critique can impart. Instead of being defensive, embrace criticism and learn from its message. 4. Realize that nothing is perfect. Even the most wondrous things on earth – from the great pyramids to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – are not perfect. When you realize that you can be great without being perfect, you can let go of the need to reach an unrealistic level of perfection.
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