How to Build Self-Esteem
and Stop Putting Yourself Down Many of us are in the habit of constantly putting ourselves down. If you think back over your day today, chances are you’ll be able to pick out several self-put-downs right off the top of your head, and remember even more later. For some, putting themselves down is so automatic that they might not even realize they do it. Of course, we’re all our own worst critics. And we say things to ourselves that we’d never even think of saying to someone else (I’m fat, I’m a failure, I’m stupid, I’m worthless). But what you may not realize is that, just as a mean-spirited comment would hurt someone else, your own negative comments about yourself are hurting you. They’re planting tiny seeds of doubt into your mind about your abilities, your personality, and your worth. With each negative thought, you’re taking a step backward and limiting your potential in life. Over time, a continuous stream of put-downs can take their toll and leave you feeling hopeless, depressed, angry and tired -- and with very low self-esteem. How do you know if you’re in danger of hurting yourself with negative thoughts and put-downs? Here are some signs: • It’s hard for you to accept a compliment • You belittle yourself and your abilities (“Oh, I’m not that good of a singer/writer/nurse/mother, etc.”) • You feel that other people are better than you Don’t Build Yourself Up: Discover Your Intrinsic Self-Worth In order to stop putting yourself down, it’s necessary to discover your intrinsic self-worth. This is the high self-esteem that’s natural in all of us, but that we tend to squelch and bury with our put-downs. How do you find your inner self-worth and build self-esteem? You release the negative emotions, like self-doubt and self-criticism. When you do this (if you’re not sure how to release, The Sedona Method can show you how) you tap into your natural inner peace and confidence, without needing to “build yourself up” in an artificial way. “I do not recommend that people build themselves up,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “When people build themselves up as opposed to discovering or uncovering their intrinsic self-worth they are setting themselves up for a fall. Anything that needs to be built up can just as easily be torn down.” “I recommend letting go of the self-doubt and self-criticism that causes you to feel low self-esteem,” Dwoskin continues. “When you let go, you discover the inner source of esteem that is not dependent on anything outside of you. And you discover that high self-esteem is quite natural.”
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