The Perfect Wedding Gift:
Why There is No Better Present for the Newlyweds Than Lessons in "Letting Go"
by www.Sedona.com After the excitement of planning a wedding, and seeing it come to fruition, is over, and the bags have been unpacked from the honeymoon, newlywed couples face one of the biggest challenges of anyone's lifetime: fostering a happy marriage. In the weeks and months following the honeymoon, it's not in fact uncommon for newlyweds to feel an unexpected array of emotions. Fear, anxiety, frustration and even depression can all pop up as a couple works through their newfound identities, and their new life as a married couple. What you may not know is that the first years of marriage, the newlywed stage, are one of the most important predictors for your future marital success. A 2001 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that "couples' newlywed marriages and changes in their union over the first 2 years foreshadow their long-term marital fate after 13 years." The researchers followed 156 couples, who were first married in 1981, for a period of 13 years. Interestingly, it was not an increase in negativity in the marriage that signaled a coming divorce. Instead, it was "disillusionment." "[Disillusionment] – as reflected in an abatement of love, a decline in overt affection, a lessening of the conviction that one's spouse is responsive, and an increase in ambivalence – distinguishes couples headed for divorce from those who establish a stable marital bond," the researchers said. Moreover, these signs of disillusionment did not need time to develop, they were apparent right away. The Perfect Wedding Gift: Learn How to Extend Your Honeymoon Indefinitely Because the first years of marriage are so important for the future of your relationship, it's essential to establish a caring, open foundation from the start. Among the most common challenges that newlywed couples face are differing expectations and problems with communication that may exhibit themselves as follows: Both wanting to do things the way YOUR family did them Differing opinions about finances, spending time with friends, who does which household chores, intimacy, etc. Letting yourself go and not taking the time to look good for your spouse the way you once did Less romance in the relationship Not respecting your spouse's opinions and dreams
In fact, according to Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates, any feeling you may be having toward your spouse outside of love itself could be a recipe for disaster. "Every feeling – except love – is a non-love feeling and is therefore composed of varying degrees of hatefulness," he says. The Sedona Method, a scientifically proven system that shows you how to tap your natural ability to let go of the feelings that cause you to get lost in negative thought or communication patterns, is truly the perfect wedding gift, as it shows you how to easily release non-love feelings toward your spouse. "If newlyweds start their relationship with The Sedona Method, they can extend their honeymoon indefinitely. How? By knowing how to let go of the petty annoyances and big disagreements that often sabotage relationships," Dwoskin says. Simply by learning the principle of releasing taught in The Sedona Method, your marriage will flourish from day one. "My relationship with my husband is deeper, freer, and more joyful and playful. In general, life is so much easier!" said one Sedona Method student, Judith Halderman from St. Louis, Missouri. The Sedona Method will help keep you and your new spouse free from disillusionment because you will both be able to get past the disagreements, and instead put your primary focus on your love for one another. "The Method will help to strengthen the foundation of your marriage, and it is also a wonderful process to share with one another to open up the relationship and deepen your love for each other," Dwoskin says.
Sources
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2001 Feb Vol 80(2) 237-252
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