Is It Love or “Obsessive Love”?
How to Tell the Difference
by www.Sedona.com
Love casts an alluring spell over nearly everyone who feels it, but in the case of obsessive love one person becomes emotionally infatuated with the other. Instead of a mutually beneficial relationship, those who are in obsessive love feel that only the object of their desire can make them feel fulfilled.
And as with any obsession, obsessive love stems from a place of anxiety, stress, and fear, in this case that they will lose the person or somehow be abandoned.
“Love is wanting for the other one what you want for yourself. Love is also supporting the other person and what's best for them no matter whether it is best for you or not,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Love is not bartered. If you are loving someone in order to encourage them to love you, that's not love, that's need.”
Warning Signs of Obsessive Love
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s an opportune time to delve into obsessive love, as the holiday often acts as an emotional trigger that can intensify these unhealthy feelings.
The driving force behind obsessive love, in both men and women, is often insecurity. People who are self-confident and happy with themselves typically have faith that their partner will love them too, and don't feel a need to control the relationship or their partner.
Conversely, someone who is insecure may doubt their partner's dedication and may therefore try to maintain control of them. For instance, they may:
- Call or e-mail excessively, or attempt to visit in-person at inappropriate times
- Send inappropriate or excessive gifts
- Make it difficult for you to see your friends or family
- Accuse you of cheating
- Question you about your commitment to the relationship in order to make you feel guilty
- Demand that you account for your whereabouts, even during normal daily activities
In some cases obsessive love can even turn dangerous, especially if you try to end the relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone and you fear for your safety, you should seek help immediately.
The Real Love Test
If you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship where you’re both a bit infatuated with each other, but are interested to know if your love will last, what should you do?
“The best way to test your love is to see if you'd be willing for the other one to be happy -- even without you,” Dwoskin says. “If you genuinely say yes, then your love is true.”
Still, even in the best circumstances all relationships need tending to, and this is something you can easily do by learning to let go using The Sedona Method.
“The best way to truly love another is to open your heart and let go of whatever it is inside of you that's preventing you from loving that person exactly as they are,” Dwoskin continues. “The more you love someone, the more you set yourself and them free.”
Sources
MedicineNet.com February 6, 2003
Enotalone.com
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