Are You Experiencing “Only-Child Syndrome”? What to Know and Do About It
by www.Sedona.com
In the 19th century, G. Stanley Hall, a researcher who oversaw the largest children’s study of his time, discovered that only children were more likely to be “peculiar and exceptional” than kids with siblings.
Hall, who was thought of as a child expert at the time, went so far as to call being an only child a ''disease in itself.''
Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist, also believed that a child’s birth order left an imprint on their future life. In the case of only children, he believed that since they had no rivals for their parents’ attention, they could become spoiled. As an adult, Adler believed that only children would have difficulties in relationships if they were not universally liked.
These stereotypes, which posit that only children may be not only spoiled, but also isolated, lonely, self-absorbed or somehow socially inept, went unchallenged for at least a generation. Today, more credible studies have been completed that found only children to be much like their peers with siblings.
While much of the negative “only child” stereotype remains, some studies have even found that only children score higher on tests and reach higher levels of education, perhaps because of the one-on-one time they received from their parents.
The benefits, however, may diminish as they get older.
“Adult only children can have many challenges, including having to deal with aging parents on their own,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Also, only children may take some of the challenges they developed growing up without siblings with them into adulthood, such as a mistaken belief that the world revolves around them.”
Only children may also struggle more with how to live their own life. As the only child, they may feel they cannot leave their parents behind, or their parents may put this guilt on to them. An only child may also struggle with being a perfectionist, as a key trait of only children is striving to do everything perfectly.
If You’re Feeling Burdened by Being an Only Child …
You are not alone. Keep in mind that while you may not have siblings to depend on, you can build friendships that can be just as strong as family bonds. It may also help to recognize that having a sibling is not a guarantee of love and support, as siblings do not always get along as well as two friends might.
Still, if you are struggling with any type of emotional battle, learning how to let go of the negative energy will be extremely beneficial, and this is something you can do using The Sedona Method.
“No matter what your circumstances, adult only children can benefit greatly by letting go of their negative emotions using The Sedona Method,” Dwoskin says. “As you let go, you’ll discover there are others and you are not alone. You will also find it easier to deal with the way life actually is.”
Sources
The New York Times
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