Letting Go of Grudges: How to Do It and Why It is Essential for Your Happiness
by www.Sedona.com
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.”
--Alexander Pope
Grudges, by their very nature, are one of the most harmful things you can hold on to. These feelings of resentment or ill will, especially those that last for a long time (as most grudges do), will slowly eat away at your energy, your vigor and your joy in life.
“When you are wanting to get even with someone you have to keep yourself in the victim role until you have gotten even,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “The only one that is actually on the hook when you feel like you do not want to let someone off the hook is you. So you are hurting yourself -- not the other person -- when you hold a grudge.”
Grudges are actually a major source of chronic stress to you, and chronic stress has been linked to illnesses including heart disease, cancer, depression, autoimmune diseases and reproductive problems, along with more minor maladies like stomach upset, back pain, headaches and fatigue.
So not surprisingly, when you let go of a grudge, you can expect to feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, both figuratively and literally.
Take, for instance, the Stanford University Forgiveness Project. After the study’s participants, who had experienced unresolved interpersonal hurt, had six weeks of forgiveness training and became willing to forgive:
- 70% had a decrease in feelings of hurt
- 13% had a reduction in long-term experience of anger
- 27% had a reduction in physical symptoms of stress (back ache, dizziness, sleeplessness, headache, stomach upset, etc.)
- 15% had a decrease in emotional experience of stress
Aside from the physical and emotional damage that grudges can lead to, Dwoskin points out that they can also cause you to become stuck in life. http://www.sedona.com/lp-moveforward.aspx
“Grudges cause you to look back instead of forward or into what is actually here now, so they tend to slow down your life,” he says. “After all, if you allow yourself to prosper and move on you no longer have a good excuse to hold a grudge.”
Letting go of Grudges, Once and for All
Rather than festering over a past grudge, you can easily use The Sedona Method to break the negative patterns of thought and behavior that once felt so deeply rooted. Instead, you will experience the freedom that comes with letting go of grudges and forgiving those you love (and even those you don’t).
“The best thing to do is to let go of your feelings and let go of wanting to get even,” Dwoskin says. “You do this so you can move on with your life and so you can feel good. This does not mean you are condoning what happened, you are simply letting go for you.”
And the sooner you let go of the grudges in your life, the better off you’ll be because you will finally be free. No more anger, no more resentment or hurt feelings -- just freedom to move on with your life in an open, positive way. | 
