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Choosing to be a Stay-At-Home Mother … and Choosing Not to Feel Guilty About It
by www.Sedona.com

Part of this guilt stems from society. The debate over whether moms should stay in the workforce or stay at home to raise their children is a hot one, with pros and cons for both sides of the fence.

In 2006, there were 5.6 million stay-at-home moms in the United States, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Still, in 2004, 55 percent of mothers with infant children were working outside of the house.

Opinions on this tend to be fierce and highly divided. According to a 2007 Pew Research Center poll of over 2,000 people about the societal impact of increasing numbers of mothers of young children working:

• 41% thought it was a bad thing
  
• 32% said it made no difference
  
• 22% said it was a good thing

Another Pew poll found that among working moms surveyed, 60 percent believed part-time work was the ideal situation. And among stay-at-home moms surveyed, 48 percent believed staying at home was ideal.

Women who decide to become stay-at-home moms often feel that being there to raise their children is more important than any outside career. Yet, they may still feel guilty about leaving their jobs behind, particularly after hearing things such as this quote from law professor and working mom Linda Hirshman:

"A good life for humans includes the classical standard of using one's capacities for speech and reason in a prudent way, the liberal requirement of having enough autonomy to direct one's own life, and the utilitarian test of doing more good than harm in the world," Hirshman wrote. "Measured against these time-tested standards, the expensively educated, upper-class moms will be leading lesser lives."

Of course, the opposite also holds true, with women who decide to keep their careers feeling guilty for not leaving them behind.

How to Feel Great About Your Decision to be a Stay-at-Home Mom

“Remember first off that one of the most important jobs on the planet is being a mother,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Without some of us doing this important work our species would die out. Motherhood is still greatly undervalued by our society.”

Indeed, a survey by Salary.com found that, if paid, stay-at-home moms would earn $134,121 a year. And working moms would earn $85,876 for the “mom job” portion of their work. Among the many job titles that a stay-at-home mom earns are:

1. Housekeeper
   
2. Day care center teacher
   
3. Cook
   
4. Computer operator
   
5. Laundry machine operator
   
6. Janitor
   
7. Facilities manager
   
8. Van driver
   
9. CEO
   
10. Psychologist

Still, what can you do if you’re still feeling guilty about your decision? Dwoskin recommends letting go of any feeling of guilt  for not being productive in other ways besides being a mom.

This is something that you can learn how to do easily using The Sedona Method.

“Guilt is an “I owe you for punishment” and we never feel like we have been punished enough, so please let go of wanting to punish yourself for your decision http://www.sedona.com/selfcritical.aspx,” he says. “Lastly, give yourself approval or love for making this choice or for no reason whatsoever.”

Sources

U.S. Census Bureau