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Why Do Couples Argue?

March 18th, 2014 by Hale Dwoskin

No relationship is perfect, and all couples argue from time to time, but if the arguing becomes excessive — to the point where you’re arguing more than you’re getting along — it can threaten the core of your relationship, easily leading to divorce. Learn how to stop bickering in a relationship!

Although the divorce rate in the United States has gone down — the U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in 1980 — experts say the decline is deceiving because the marriage rate has also gone down (by 50 percent since 1970).

As an increasing number of couples choose cohabitation rather than marriage, relationships can end without a divorce. Yet, more and more unmarried couples are bringing children into the mix, making a breakup no less devastating than a divorce.

Why Do Couples Argue?

Arguing can take on many forms, from light bickering in a relationship to deeply hurtful words, and all have a potential to cause undue stress, anxiety, anger, and resentment.

While it’s commonly thought that one of the most common causes of arguments and divorce among couples is money, it turns out that this is not always the case.

“As a predictor of divorce, money problems are so minor,” said Jan Andersen, associate professor at California State University in Sacramento. “If we look at all the causes of divorce, financial problems can only account for 5 percent of the effect.”

Of course, couples DO argue about money. One study of married couples even found that 70 percent reported having some type of money problems, however the money issues didn’t appear to be the ones that led to divorce.

“No one is going to say, ‘I got divorced because I was a jerk,’ Andersen said. “It’s more acceptable to say, ‘We had money troubles.'”

So what were the major issues facing couples? Incompatibility, lack of emotional support, sexual problems, work, housework and child-related issues and abuse.

If You Argue Too Much with Your Loved One, Here’s What Can Help

Chronic arguing isn’t good for anyone in the household, as it leads to stress, stress, and more stress. It can also lead to feelings of insecurity, instability and poor self-esteem, not only for you and your partner but also for any children involved.

If you are afraid excessive arguing is causing your relationship to deteriorate, The Sedona Method is a simple, scientifically proven technique that can help. At the heart of most arguments is a lack of communication, negative
thoughts and unhealthy communication patterns. The Method will show you and your partner how to tap into your natural ability to let go of negative thoughts and communication so you can both be more easily understood.

Whenever you feel an excess of disagreements, misunderstandings or miscommunication causing a barrier to your
happiness, you will be able to use The Sedona Method to get immediate relief from arguments that may otherwise have lasted days or even weeks.

In short, after applying this simple technique you can say to yourself that you have now learned how to stop bickering in a relationship and you will have gained the freedom of communication that is key to an open and satisfying relationship.

-Hale