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Life’s Not Fair: How to Deal With the Feeling That Life’s Not Fair

January 30th, 2014 by Hale Dwoskin

Sometime between kindergarten and adulthood, we all learn the truth: Life’s not fair. This is as certain as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west, yet, for some of us, it’s just not acceptable.

If you fall into this category, you may begin to look at life as one giant conspiracy to keep you from being happy: you woke up late, your toast got burned, you spilled coffee on your white shirt, and you feel like your pants are
tighter than they were yesterday — and that’s all before you even left the house.

“Why me?” you may lament. “How can life be so unfair? Life’s NOT FAIR!”

Of course, more serious issues, such as an untimely death in the family, can also make you question fairness and wonder why you got the short end of the stick in life, but the premise stays the same.

No matter what the reason, if you keep up with the mindset that “life’ not fair” long enough, you will actually start to create the unfairness that you’re so focused on. Perhaps you have heard of the “Law of Attraction”? Well this is a perfect example. Your frequent thoughts that life is not fair will make it nearly impossible for you to feel what you so desire: that everything is fair, just and exactly how it should be.

Instead, by believing that your life is not fair, you will actively attract more unfairness into your experiences.

Mastering Your Emotions is the Secret

The ultimate solution to feeling happy with your life is not simply to stop feeling that life isn’t fair. If you constantly think “life’s not fair,” you can have the same feeling the whole day coloring every thought. So it is much more effective to master your emotions than simply try to control your thoughts.

Mastering your emotions means taking control of the negative thought patterns that are so strong, they may sabotage even your best efforts to think more positively. In fact, you may not even know they’re there.

You are creating the sum total of your thinking and feeling about any particular topic all the time, but most thinking and feeling is below your conscious awareness in your subconscious. In fact, 94-96% of your actions are motivated by the thoughts and feelings that are outside of your conscious awareness and control.

So for every time you sigh at life’s inequalities, there are an infinite number of other emotions that already exist inside you that may very well be supporting this flawed belief. The key is to use what’s known as the ‘Law of Surrender’ or the ‘Law of Letting Go’ to break these negative patterns, and you can learn how to do this simply by using The Sedona Method.

When you let go of your conscious feelings using The Sedona Method, you empty your subconscious and you take back your control.

So the next time you’re feeling burdened with something that didn’t go smoothly in your life, accept the feelings, then use The Sedona Method to let them go.

If you embrace the feeling that life’s not fair, it will almost immediately release its hold on you. You will feel relieved almost instantly, and, with more releasing, you will begin to feel the joy and lightness that you are at your core.


6 Responses to “Life’s Not Fair: How to Deal With the Feeling That Life’s Not Fair”

  1. sadhana says:

    I am new to this community, I am very happy to have found The SEDONA METHOD. Years ago I almost moved to Sedona, I absolutely love it. I’m sure it has grown tremendously in 20 years. Now that I have mentioned it maybe I should consider it again.
    Right now I’m feeling so desperately stuck…I understand I am part of the whole like a grain of sand, when my consciousness is raised it meshes together with the fabric of the whole and helps to raise the whole. But what about the individual? I make a bit of progress and I feel ” wow” I’m finally over the hurdle and I’m truly on my way to the beginning of my new chapter and then I get slapped back. I am so needing to understand.

    • Alex Viefhaus says:

      Hurdles are our own challenges. As you notice you begin a new chapter and find yourself faced with similar challenges. Those are the challenges we haven’t moved through or actually let go of.

      Also when we let go we don’t fix things once and for all. Life will continue to give us experiences. If we can see them as such we let go of wanting to control them.

      So, could you let go of wanting to figure it out?

  2. Dor says:

    Where can I find more information on the Law of Surrender. I have the Sedona Method ebook and course manual but a search on the pdf brought nothing up. It has been one week since my son’s funeral and I am seeking help and understanding with the grieving process.

    • Alex Viefhaus says:

      Sorry to hear about your loss.

      The Law of Surrender is also known as the Law of Letting Go. The whole course is about that. To let go means to allow yourself to grieve. Let go of wanting the sadness to end. Let go of wanting to know why you had to lose the one you’ve lost. Even letting go of wanting to understand it. Let go of wanting to change your feeling or wanting to stop crying. Instead welcome it. I understand it will be difficult. One of the first things we need to let go of is the thought, I shouldn’t be feeling like this or I should stop feeling like this. If we resist our feelings they must persist until you’ve allowed them.

  3. Mona says:

    I’m really grateful for bringing up this topic. That’s my life’s main limiting belief! I feel like whenever I feel disappointed, I’m back to the track playing: see?! life’s not fair, I told you!
    as if if i want to like life still it reminds me but …. that’s not fair remember.
    Is my belief attracting it or simply not fairness in the nature of life makes me strengthen the belief, who cares which one though :(… (I can let go of wanting to figure it out) :)I’d like to know(!) what to do with that cycle, how to get rid of getting there again?! Just let go of the anger and that’s it?

    • Alex Viefhaus says:

      “how to get rid of getting there again?!” Let go of wanting to get rid of it.

      When you feel disappointed by the unfairness of life, try some holistic releasing, Could I allow life to be unfair as it is? Could I allow life to be as fair as it is?

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